


Balls

by shadowsamurai



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-12
Updated: 2012-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-07 14:32:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/432190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What exactly did Alfred do all thos years while Bruce was away? And how does Lucius fit into it all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Balls

**Author's Note:**

> A take on the tone Alfred has with Lucius in that little scene right after Bruce wakes up on his birthday, and an idea of what Alfred did to keep busy while Bruce was 'away'. This is just some fun and not to be taken seriously at all. I've also used snippets from Narnia (Lion, Witch, Wardrobe) and Batman Returns as inspiration.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

AP-LF-AP-LF-AP-LF

Alfred knew who was at the door without even looking, but he went through the motions of pretending to be surprised anyway, though who he was trying fool wasn't clear because he certainly wasn't fooling his guest.

"Mr Fox. What a surprise," Alfred greeted him.

Lucius smiled. "Alfred, how many times have I told you to call me Lucius?"

"More times that I can remember."

"And you're not surprised."

"Just keeping in practice." The butler's tone was slightly melancholy. "Please, come in."

"Still no news?" Lucius asked as they walked through the empty mansion. All the bookcases had been covered, all the furniture decorated with white sheets, and the place felt more like a mausoleum than a home.

Alfred shook his head. "Not a word."

It had been four months since Bruce had vanished without a trace after the hearing. Lucius made a point of visiting Alfred every few weeks to see how the butler was coping on his own, though he never actually said that. He always thought up some excuse, and though Alfred was well aware of Lucius' real reason for visiting, he never admitted he knew.

"How big is the ground floor?" Lucius asked curiously as the headed to the kitchen.

"I don't really know," Alfred admitted. "A couple of football pitches, probably."

Lucius looked amused. "Football? As in soccer?"

"No, as in football." Alfred stared at him. "You know what football is, don't you?"

"I know soccer," Lucius replied with a smile. "Tell you what, unless you're busy, why don't you show me the difference?"

AP-LF-AP-LF-AP-LF

The first year of Bruce's disappearance was spent playing football around the ground floor of the mansion, and Alfred was amazed neither he nor Lucius broke anything, including bones and furniture. And while he would never admit it, Alfred enjoyed those monthly games with Lucius. After they had played, they would sit and eat lunch, and the butler found he missed the company, though he would never admit that either. Finally, he worked up the courage to ask Lucius around for Christmas dinner; after that, Lucius visited the butler every week.

"So, what now?" he asked Alfred one day.

"What do you mean?"

Lucius sighed. "Mr Wayne has been missing for over a year now."

"Yes. I know," Alfred replied sadly. "But what am I supposed to do? I barely know him."

"You helped raise him, Alfred."

"That I did, Lucius, but he's changed so much."

"We all do." Lucius looked at his friend carefully. "Give him a little more time to resurface."

"And if he doesn't?" Alfred asked.

Lucius smiled. "We'll deal with that when the time comes." He looked around. "So, apart from football, have you English got any more strange ball games?"

"Rugby?" Alfred suggested.

"You mean football."

Rolling his eyes upwards, Alfred grabbed Lucius by the arm and dragged him out of the room. "Come on, Mr Fox, let's continue with your education."

AP-LF-AP-LF-AP-LF

After the second year of Bruce's disappearance, Alfred seemed to start to slip into a dark mood. Melancholy, loneliness, despair and failure were written over his face every time Lucius visited, and with each passing week, a new line seemed to appear as well, making Alfred look older than he was.

"I think things are changing at Wayne Enterprises," Lucius said as they strolled around the garden. The strain of the times were showing on him as well, although he was only graced with a few graying hairs. But still, strain was strain.

"I think you're right," Alfred agreed.

Lucius looked sideways at his friend. "Has Mr Earle been in touch?"

Alfred stopped. "Why do you ask that? Did he send you?"

"Hold up, Alfred, I was just asking," Lucius said defensively, before admitting, "He's trying to get me off the board."

"Why would he do that?"

"Apparently I cause too much trouble."

Alfred nodded. "I can believe that," he replied with a smile.

"You didn't answer my question," Lucius said, ignoring him, but filing the insult away for later revenge.

"Yes, he has been in touch." Alfred sighed. "He wants Master Wayne declared dead, legally."

"Can he do that?" Lucius asked.

Alfred sighed again. "I don't know."

"I see." Suddenly he clapped his hands together. "Right, come on."

"Where are we going?"

"New game. Seems a shame to have all this space, and the time, and not use it."

"What game?" Alfred asked suspiciously.

Lucius grinned. "Basketball."

Alfred pulled a face. "Does that make us even now?"

"I'll think about it."

AP-LF-AP-LF-AP-LF

"You'll wear a hole in the bonnet if you keep doing that."

Alfred looked up and scowled. A number of nasty retorts hovered on his lips but he managed to keep himself in check. Four long years since Bruce had disappeared, and Alfred had allowed himself to relax in the company of Lucius, so much so that informality was becoming a habit he didn't need. So while he would liked to have called his friend a number of obscene names, Alfred just bit his tongue and kept polishing the car.

Lucius observed him carefully for a few moments, assessing the situation and the best way to resolve it. "I don't think basketball is working."

"And what gave you that idea?" Alfred asked sarcastically. "Other than the fact that you broke your arm and I broke three fingers."

"Nothing to do with that," Lucius replied, waving the comment aside.

"Then what?"

"It isn't really a good way to get rid of pent up frustration. Now baseball…." Lucius nodded. "That should make you feel better. I'll even stick a picture of Earle to the ball if it would help."

Alfred stopped what he was doing and stared at his friend. "How the bloody hell do you do that?"

Lucius shrugged and tried not to grin. "Apart from me, Mr Earle is about the only other person you see. So unless I've upset you…."

"He's had Master Wayne declared dead."

"He has been gone for almost four years, Alfred."

"Yes, Lucius, I know," Alfred replied wearily.

Lucius stepped forward and put his hand on the other man's shoulder. "That's alright, I've been relegated to the bowels of Wayne Tower. Apparently I've outlived my usefulness on the board."

"You mean he put you there to stop you from causing trouble." Alfred managed a tight grin. "Is it working?"

"Of course not. And Earle's a fool if he thinks it will."

"It's just…I can't help thinking Master Wayne is still alive," Alfred said, throwing the rag he was using for polishing negligently on the ground. "Stupid, really."

Lucius shook his head. "Not stupid at all. It's completely understandable."

"And only you could stay that and mean it." Alfred looked at his friend. "Baseball, you say?"

Lucius grinned. "Best cure for repressed anger, guaranteed."

AP-LF-AP-LF-AP-LF

Lucius was staring incredulously. "You cannot be serious."

"Perfectly," Alfred replied with a smug smile.

"But…cricket, Alfred? Really?"

"It isn't all that difficult, Lucius."

Lucius grunted. "Of course it isn't. That's why you've spent the last six months trying to teach it to me and we still haven't got anywhere."

"We would if you'd just listen and stop that brilliant mind of yours from wandering so much," Alfred admonished him.

Lucius shrugged. "Do you stop being a butler just because you're on your own?"

"No."

"There you go."

Alfred sighed. "Listen once more, and try to remember it this time." But as soon as he started talking, Lucius zoned out. Finally, the butler decided enough was enough. "Alright, Lucius, what is it?"

"Hmm?"

"You were some place else. More interesting than my company?"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Don't make this personal," he replied. "I was just thinking about some of the projects Mr Earle has got me working on."

Alfred was immediately all ears and highly interested. "What kinds of projects?"

"You know I'm not supposed to discuss them. State secrets and all," Lucius said sarcastically.

"You can always kill me afterwards."

"If you carry on trying to teach me cricket, I might," Lucius muttered.

Alfred glared at him. "I heard that."

"You were supposed to."

"Are you going to tell me about these projects or should I just start talking again?" Alfred asked. "Unless, of course, you're afraid cricket will lengthen my lead on you."

Lucius barked a short laugh. "Oh no, my friend, I think you'll find that I am leading you."

"In your dreams."

"I have won more games that you at everything we've played so far."

"You have not!"

Lucius held his hand up. "Fine. Let's settle this with cricket, then, shall we?"

Alfred smiled. "Agreed. And the projects?"

"Well, one of our defence contractors wants us to look into a microwave emitter," Lucius started to explain. "The idea is to vaporise an enemy's water supply…."

AP-LF-AP-LF-AP-LF

By unspoken consensus, they had agreed not to speak very much as the months and years dropped by. Their friendship grew from simply being around each other, and, of course, their competitiveness, which was decidedly unfriendly at times.

"Bowls," Alfred said firmly.

"Balls to you too," Lucius muttered, too quietly for the butler to hear.

But Alfred knew his friend had said something and proceeded to glare at him. "I realise the chances of Master Wayne returning after six years is highly unlikely, but even so, the mansion is still my responsibility."

"And you think Master Wayne would object to a broken window or two," Lucius surmised. "Even though I've paid to have them replace."

"I think it was more like seven, Lucius," Alfred corrected him. "And one of those you managed to break three times!"

"You bowled the ball!"

"And you batted it!"

Lucius frowned. "And how many windows did you break?"

Alfred ignored him. "Bowls is the safest game ever. We won't break anything, unless you start flinging the balls in a tantrum…."

"Excuse me, that was you with the football, if I remember rightly," Lucius replied mildly.

"…And we won't injure ourselves," Alfred continued regardless.

"What about golf instead?"

"That's for next year."

Lucius shook his head. "No, next year it's my turn to pick."

"Alright. The year after, then."

Lucius sighed and held his hands up in submission. "Fine, fine." Then he looked more critically at his friend "How are you holding up, Alfred?"

"To be honest, Lucius, I don't know," Alfred replied honestly. "I always hoped Master Wayne would show up one day, but it's looking less and less likely. And the way Wayne Enterprises is going, maybe it's a good thing he isn't around."

Lucius nodded his agreement. "Right now, Earle is more interested in offensive contracts rather than defensive ones."

Alfred looked at Lucius with a slightly apprehensive expression, as though he was afraid of offending him. "Do you ever wonder why Mr Earle keeps employing you? I mean, from what you've told me, he'd be well to just ask you to leave."

"Or fire me," Lucius replied. "I don't know, Alfred. Maybe he's hoping I'll invent something that will make him rich."

"And have you so far?"

"Nothing. Things for the army, all prototypes, none in production and I think Earle would be happy if it stayed that way." Lucius sighed again in defeat. "So, bowls?"

Alfred nodded firmly. "Bowls."

AP-LF-AP-LF-AP-LF

Lucius wasn't really surprised by the reception Alfred gave him. After they had both severely injured their backs playing bowls over the last year, when Lucius had suggested something else, Alfred could only say yes. Unfortunately, the sport chosen was something Lucius was actually very good at, a fact he neglected to tell Alfred, and the butler did not take kindly to getting not simply beaten, but thrashed soundly almost each and every week.

But a closer look at Alfred's face told Lucius the butler's tense posture had nothing to do with him. "What is it?" he asked.

"Master Wayne," Alfred replied.

"Is he…?" Lucius couldn't quite bring himself to say the words.

But Alfred shook his head. "No, he's alive and coming home."

"That's good news, isn't it?" Lucius asked, slightly confused.

"It's very good news."

"Then why the long face?"

"It means our weekly meetings will have to come to an end, I'm afraid."

Lucius just shrugged. "We knew it was going to happen."

"Did we?" Alfred asked mildly.

"Of course. We never gave up hope Mr Wayne was alive, so it had to end sometime." Lucius smiled and held his hand out. "If you need anything, Alfred, you know where to find me."

"I do indeed, Lucius," Alfred replied as they shook. "Thank you."

When Bruce Wayne found his way to Lucius' underground domain, Lucius wasn't the bit surprised. He guessed Alfred might have had a sneaky hand in directing the young master there, and Lucius soon discovered that his years spent down in Applied Sciences hadn't been a waste of time like he had originally thought. Soon he was outfitting the caped crusader known as Batman, and he was enjoying himself immensely.

Then one day, Alfred called. "Master Wayne is very sick. Hallucinations, fever. Can you come round?"

"I'll be right there," Lucius replied.

It didn't take long to ascertain that Bruce had a chemical compound in his blood that was causing the damage, and Lucius was certain he could whip up an antidote fairly quickly. Once that was done and administered, there was nothing to do but wait.

"Lucius," Alfred said as they neared the front door.

Lucius turned. "Yes, Alfred?"

"Thank you."

"Any time."

"I don't suppose you have some time on your hands, do you?" Alfred asked.

"Depends on what you need," Lucius replied with a smile.

Alfred smiled back. "Some company."

Lucius grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Game on?"

Alfred rolled his eyes. "I suppose so."

And that was how Lucius came to find himself still at Wayne Manor when Bruce awoke. Alfred had finally cried defeat a few hours earlier, but Lucius hadn't found a suitable excuse to leave. Or more accurately, Alfred hadn't let him leave. He seemed to enjoy complaining too much. But once Bruce had woken up, there really was no need for Lucius to be there, and besides, he needed to clear up the evidence of his off-the-book work on the antidote before Earle found out what was going on.

"Alfred," Lucius said, letting his hand come to rest briefly on the butler's shoulder as he left the room.

But Alfred didn't turn and his tone was cold when he spoke. "Lucius."

Lucius sighed and shook his head. "Maybe I should have let him win that last racquetball game," he muttered.

FIN


End file.
